How to Make Decisions When You're Torn Between Two Options

22 December 2025

We've all been there — stuck at a mental crossroads, unsure of which way to turn. Whether it's choosing between two job offers, deciding if you should move to a new city, or even picking between two love interests (spicy, I know), making decisions when you're torn between two options can feel like wrestling with your own brain. So, how do you actually make the right call without spiraling into analysis paralysis?

Let’s talk about how to break it all down, step-by-step, without losing your mind. By the end of this article, you’ll have a solid framework to lean on the next time you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Why Making Decisions Is So Damn Hard

Before we dive into the “how-to,” let’s quickly unpack the “why.” Why does it feel like your brain suddenly turns into a tangled mess of pros, cons, what-ifs, and second-guessing?

Here’s the deal: when you're split between two options, your brain is registering both choices as equally valuable — or equally terrifying. Your logical side might be saying one thing, while your emotional side screams something completely different. And when logic and emotion start arm-wrestling, guess who gets exhausted? Yep, you.

On top of that, we fear making the WRONG choice. The regret, the "what could have been," the FOMO (fear of missing out) — all of it clouds our judgment. So, we freeze.

Step 1: Get Clear On Your Core Values

Imagine trying to use a GPS without knowing your destination. Pointless, right? The same goes for decision-making. You need to know what truly matters to you before you can figure out which path aligns best.

Ask yourself:

- What do I value more — stability or adventure?
- Am I chasing comfort, or am I craving growth?
- Which option aligns with the kind of person I want to be?

Let’s say you’re choosing between a high-paying corporate job and a passion-driven startup role. If one of your top values is financial security, that corporate job might make more sense. But if you’re all about purpose and creativity, that startup could be your ticket.

👉 Pro tip: Write down your top 5 core values and see which option checks more of those boxes.

Step 2: List Out the Pros and Cons (But Do It Differently)

Hold up — I know what you're thinking. "Really? A pros and cons list? That’s old news." Hear me out.

Most people list their pros and cons like a robot — everything carries the same weight. But not all pros and cons are created equal. Some matter way more than others.

Here's how to spice it up:

1. Write down the pros and cons for each option.
2. Next to each item, rate it from 1 to 5 based on how important it is to you personally.
3. Add up the scores for each side.

You might find that Option A has more pros, but Option B has fewer — yet way more powerful — pros. Boom. That’s insight gold.

Step 3: Visualize Your Future with Each Option

Visualization isn’t just for elite athletes and yogis. It actually rewires your brain to help you process choices more clearly.

Close your eyes (after you finish reading this section, preferably) and imagine going all-in on Option A. Picture your life six months from now. A year. How do you feel? Are you energized or drained?

Now do the same for Option B.

Pay attention to your gut reaction. Your intuition is smarter than you think. Sometimes, your body knows what you want before your brain catches up.

Step 4: Run a “Regret Test”

Still stuck? Time to pull out the big guns — the Regret Test.

Ask yourself: “If I woke up tomorrow and found out I couldn’t choose Option A anymore, how would I feel? Relieved or devastated?”

Then flip it. “If Option B were off the table, what’s my gut reaction?”

This test cuts through the noise and gets to the raw emotion underneath your indecision. The option you feel most crushed about losing? That’s worth paying attention to.

Step 5: Talk It Out with Someone You Trust

Sometimes, you just need to hear your own thoughts out loud. Talking with a friend, coach, or therapist can help you gain clarity. But pick someone who will listen — not someone who will just tell you what to do.

Explain your dilemma. Lay out your reasons. Pay attention to what you say and how you say it. Often, you’ll find your answer hidden in your own words.

And here’s the twist — it's not always what the other person says that helps. It's the act of hearing yourself process the decision out loud that gives you that lightbulb moment.

Step 6: Flip a Coin (Seriously)

This one sounds silly, but there's psychology behind it.

Let’s say you're truly 50/50. Flip a coin. As it's in the air, pay attention to which option you're secretly hoping for. That gut reaction? It’s your decision trying to make itself.

It’s not about letting fate decide — it’s about using the coin flip as an emotional barometer.

Step 7: Accept That No Option Is Perfect

Here’s a hard truth: every choice comes with trade-offs. There is no unicorn decision that gives you everything you want with zero downsides.

And you know what? That’s okay.

Once you stop chasing perfection and start focusing on what’s “good enough and aligned,” the fog starts to lift. Ask yourself, “Can I live with the downsides of this option?” If the answer’s yes, you’ve likely found your winner.

Step 8: Set a Deadline

Indecision loves to camp out in your mind rent-free — unless you kick it out.

Give yourself a deadline. Not a vague "someday" deadline. A real, calendar-marked one. When the clock strikes that time, commit.

Why? Because overthinking is just fear wearing a fancy hat. And decision-making is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Step 9: Take Action — Even If It’s a Small One

Still can’t commit 100%? That’s fine. Take a baby step in one direction — a trial run.

- Thinking of quitting your job for freelancing? Try freelancing on the side first.
- Torn between moving across the country or staying put? Take a trip out there and test the waters.

Action creates momentum. Momentum breeds clarity.

Step 10: Own Your Choice

Once you’ve made your decision, own it. Seriously. Put both feet in and don’t keep peeking over the fence.

No second-guessing. No “what ifs.” Trust that you made the best choice with the information you had.

Remember, it’s incredibly rare to make a choice you can’t recover from. Most of life’s decisions aren’t final — they’re just steps, and you can always course-correct.

Bonus: What to Avoid When Making a Tough Decision

Let’s quickly cover a few pitfalls that can keep you stuck:

- Over-researching: Sometimes, more info just equals more confusion.
- Crowdsourcing opinions: Too many cooks spoil the soup. Trust YOUR gut.
- Avoiding the decision altogether: Choosing not to choose is still a choice — and usually not a great one.

Final Thoughts

Making decisions when you're torn between two options isn’t about finding the flawless choice. It’s about getting clear on what matters to you, listening to your inner voice, and taking empowered action — even if it’s a little scary.

The next time you’re at a life fork, don’t just freeze. Ask yourself the right questions, trust your gut, take baby steps, and give yourself permission to not have everything figured out.

Because honestly, that’s where the magic happens — in the messy, brave, beautiful middle.